Royals dazzle Yellowknife crowd

The freezing crowd gathered in Yellowknife hardly needed more reason to dislike the royals, but got one anyhow – the unilingual Princess peppered her speech with Aboriginal languages, noting both the inhospitable climate and lack of chic boutiques in the territories in her speech in Inuvialuktun. “Sorry about that time people form my country came and sort of stole your country” she said, switching back to English, “I do hope we can all be friends, though.”

Greeting the crowd, her husband wore a cream coloured suit by his favourite British designer, Nyles Berger, with matching tie and shoes. Standing on the sidelines, his attire was highly fashionable, though not particularly functional. Many noted his modest diamond encrusted maple leaf cuff links.

“It really shows how in tune he is with Canada, and how sensitive he is to Canadian culture” said a woman who had recently received a hockey puck in the head.

The crowd really erupted when Catherine ended her speech: “William and I are deeply honoured. We have been here 2 hours and we’ve already sensed the extraordinary potential of this region,” she said, ignorant of the economic challenges facing the permanently frozen Northern badlands.

The Princess then offered some concrete suggestions as to how to improve the quality of life in such a cold climate, “perhaps you could try serving tea in thermoses?” added the princess, her new husband nodding devotedly beside her.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge then boarded their magic chariot and went back to their castle on an island, across the ocean, far, far away – heaps of taxpayer money lining their pockets. They are expected to tour the colonies again soon.

Here is the original article, though after waiting eight paragraphs to find out what Kate was wearing, one can hardly consider that “journalism”:


One Response

  1. […] even contrasting views.  For example, I follow a Canadian pro-monarchy blog and a Canadian that is less than enamored with royal visititis (sic) blog.  Likewise, although I enjoy reading xkcd from time to time, and we do now own a ball pit, I also […]

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