As they say in Texas

It’s the land of the free but joking about airport security wil lead to my immediate arrest.

Country music blares from Starbucks. McDonald’s. Airport Gift Shop. Massage chairs. Starbucks again.

I wonder if the guy who just walked by me is carrying a gun then I remember that were past airport security so maybe not.

Eight hours not sleeping in airport chairs feels so bad but during red eye fights the stars look so good.

But I never even found any cheesy fries so where’s the freedom in that?

Twelve airport bathrooms all closed for cleaning. For six hours.

CNN airs a fascinating story on Chocolate’s child slaves at 2am. A story about kids in Africa who work all day procesing cocoa makes me wonder why CNN fills the day with mindless entertainment news and GOP politics.

In flight magazine: Handschuheschneeballwerfer is German for coward. Literally: he he throws snowballs with gloves on.

But how can I test that in Texas, where there isn’t even any snow?

And so I leave the home of the free, land of untestable bravery.

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