Archive for April, 2012

Leonard Cohen Pick-Up Lines: as Sexy as CanLit gets
April 26, 2012

I recently came across a website claiming that Canadian literature is “sexy.” The maker(s) of the site aimed to prove this by including pictures of Canadian authors looking all hot and bothered. Unfortunately for them, and my eyes, Canadian authors aren’t really a handsome bunch (no, Stuart MacLean, I’m not into vinyl, and I doubt you are either).

Even more concerning was the complete oversight of CanLit’s sexiest: Mr. Leonard Cohen. Indeed, Cohen’s work probably accounts for 95% of the most salacious things ever written by a Canadian (sorry Margarets I, II and III).

 

Since I feel no need to catalogue all the filth available in CanLit to support my groundless claim, I instead include a much more practical guide of not-entirely accurate and not-at-all exhaustive list of Cohen lines that can be used to chat-up anticipated love interests (warning: may only work efficiently on graduate students in English, and others who spend most of their time drunk). Enjoy, and good luck.

 

 

“I prefer handsome men, but for [you] I will make an exception.”

“I need to see you naked, in your body and your thoughts.”

“Let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone.”

“Like a knight from some old-fashioned book, I have saved all my ribbons for thee.”

“Be my homeward dove and dance me to the end of love.”

“I got you like a habit.”

“What’s your name when you’re naked?” (not Cohen, but a great line anyway)

“Dance me to your beauty like a burning violin.”

“If you want a lover, I’ll do anything you ask me to. And if you want another kind of love, I’ll wear a mask for you.” (Actually, anything from I’m your man will do)

 

This is as far as I got listening to Cohen on a bus trip but am happy to keep adding any suggestions.
(and really? http://canlitissexy.tumblr.com/)